My 13 reasons why

As someone who has struggled with the thought of suicide from the age of 9-22! Life kept piling the baggage of hurt and disappointment heavier and heavier! Everyone would have been better off without me being here! Different times I wanted it to end for good, the pain to stop. One day after School when I was around 11 I got a knife out of the kitchen went into my room and held it to my chest, I knew if I pushed it thru my heart the pain would stop! I would dream about the different ways I could slice my wrist to make the pain go away the fastest. I was hurting mentally so bad. My life was a giant rollercoaster of huge ups & then huge downs. I was so bipolar in my head and the voices wouldn’t shut up telling me I’ll never be good enough, I’ll end up just like everyone else. But Something inside of me always said none of this pain will matter in 10 years! I be Dang that voice was so right! I believe today that was God’s voice.

Here are my 13 reasons why I’m glad I didn’t kill myself when the pain was unbearable!

1- its not our fault if a parent or parents abandoned us!

2- the rejection you feel from the kids at school,, they are struggling with their own issues when they make fun of you it’s not because of you it’s because of them

3- that boy isn’t the only one you’ll fall in love with, this heart break won’t last forever

4- I forgave that man who didn’t respect my NO and carried on with his pleasure &  then I came to realize it was never my fault

5- I forgave myself for all of the things I did in darkness

6- drugs didn’t rule your life forever

7-  God had always had a purpose for me!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

8-  My husband of freaking 14 years loves me unconditionally and will never leave me

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9-  When my 16 year old son, that I signed over custody of when I was on drugs walks in my house and says I love you-it was worth living

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10- I got to bring a beautiful daughter into this world

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11- I got to baptize my sons

12- I have more friends that I could have ever dreamed of having

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My 13th reason?? IS YOU….  don’t give up boy or girl! Your life is worth living

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Dear Lost “One”

 

It’s time to stop living your life like this! You have to admit this drug has ruined your life! You  have to realize it has taken everything from you!

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Meth has chained you to its lies!

It tells you that just one snort won’t hurt, it tells you your not a drug addict, it tells you you look good in the mirror, it tells you no one is getting hurt, it tells you you can go to the drug house and not use!

It keeps begging you back, the fear of unknown sucks you back into the cycle and you keep giving your soul back to it over & over & over & over

It will only lead u to jail or dead!!

Your thoughts are- when will this end, everyone around me is stuck in the exact same cycle, everyone relapses… I will never break free…. Sitting behind my own prison walls begging for someone to save me!!

I am here to tell you I can’t save you, jail can’t save you, rehab can’t save you…but I can tell you it’s possible and who is the only one that can save you!!

God! Ask Him-then step where he says step, HE WILL LEAD YOU IF YOU LET HIM!

God says you are worth more, and that he has a purpose for your life! He is there to rescue you and to help you break free from this demon for good! How do I know? Because I did!! 15 years sober! I got a new beginning and God helped me put the pieces back together that I had shattered!

If you think about how far you have to go you won’t take the first step!! All you have to do is not use today… then repeat that for the rest of your life!

NOW WELCOME HOME LOST ONE!

“for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.” Luke 15:24 NLT

NOW- watch God help you with your legal battles, watch God put your kids back in your life, watch God restore your health and beauty, watch God mend your broken relationships, watch God lead you to forgive the ones who did the unforgivable things to you!

Then it will be your turn to help rescue other people that are living in hell like you where because of this drug!

The rescued meth addict

Jessica Youngblood